It’s been a long, long time since I posted here. This being a journal, I know I must write every day. Document all my struggles and my victories, however small. If I don’t write for days at a time, skipping over many events that probably should have been recorded, it defeats the very purpose of this journal.

Of course, even if I’m writing daily I might still skip over stuff because there will always be things I don’t want to share with the rest of the world. I am – and have been – an intensely private person and the writing of this publicly-available journal has been a very tough call. But by opening up, I will – I hope – be able to help others make something beautiful out of their lives.

These days, every day is a struggle. A struggle against negative thoughts & negative actions. The Apostle Paul said it best –

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15)

Eventually – and soon – I MUST get down to doing what my higher self wants to do instead of being led by my baser self. And for that there are some concrete things I can do. Starting with a daily quiet time, first thing in the morning, a time when I connect with my creator. Praying and just being still in His Presence, examining myself and letting go of all that hinders and afflicts me.

That’s step one. Will write tomorrow if I did take that step or not.