Was just thinking about friends and what friendship really means and how friendship is really exhibited and who is a true friend and how friendships can withstand the test of time… you get the gist.

I’ve just moved back to Noida (that’s ‘almost Delhi’) after moving away from Delhi in 1999. Eight long years later I’m back in my hometown. It’s been nearly a month now and I’m still awaiting a homecoming party (hint, hint )

I had loads of friends and acquaintances I called friends when I left Delhi. I lost touch with almost all of them during the eight years I was gone. Most of the blame for that lies with me as I slowly stopped emailing / calling people and as time went by it all stopped completely.

I could probably do a thorough analysis of what went wrong and where but that’s for another day. Today, I just want to ponder over the issue of keeping friendships alive and kicking.

These are some of the things I’ve decided to do now to keep friendships from dying a slow and unnatural death:

1. Call/mail/sms/email every single person whom I consider a friend every single week. Meeting everyone every week would not be practical but the least I could do is call or email. (Mail’s better than email but the Indian postal service doesn’t inspire confidence at all). SMS is the least preferred means of communication for me but for a number of super busy folk, SMS is the best way. [BTW, to all my friends who would like to bombard me with umpteen email forwards to show their love, please DON'T. Only forwarding emails - especially those spammy chain ones - is NOT a sign of love. It just shows you don't care enough to even write a short, personal note.]
2. Surprise my friends every now and then. I’m not going to elaborate this point – it might just prepare them for these surprises.
3. Write a very detailed bio of all my friends that doesn’t just include the usual things but also stuff like all their big dreams, their passions, their likes/dislikes, things that make them happy, things that make them sad, things that they are currently struggling with. Then think up all the ways I can help them achieve their dreams as well as help them in living more fulfilled lives.
4. Don’t feel let down or angry when friends forget to reply to my emails or forget to wish me on days/occasions that matter to me. Of course, those who NEVER reply to my emails or return my calls might need to be relegated to the category “acquaintances”…and then to “almost strangers”.
   
5. Ask for help/advice/support whenever I need it and not be shy about asking it. That’s what friends are for. But if they are unable to help, don’t hold it against them. Give them another chance. And then – another.
6. Every week meet up with at least one friend in person. The human touch is very important. Emails / phone calls can never take the place of meeting a friend face to face.
7. Just love them. Love them for who they are and never try to get them to become like me. Friends are not meant to be clones. They are meant to be family.