I’m trying to implement…no, change that…I HAVE been implementing some of the things I had written in an earlier post about keeping friendships alive.

This week I’ve written a few emails to friends I have been out of touch for months. I went down to meet an old friend (school buddy) at his shop…wanted to surprise him but unfortunately he was out and will be back only next week. Well, I did my part (…and will be back again to meet him next week!)

I also called up an old friend, created a blog for another (a super-busy friend who I’ve been trying to meet unsuccessfully for the past month) and made plans with another friend to come and stay-over at our house over the weekend.

I’m getting there.

As I’ve started working towards rebuilding relationships and going after my own goals (my 15 day book writing challenge that begins Oct. 1), I’ve realized the importance of habits.

Most habits are formed without much thought and then they stick with us for a lifetime unless we consciously decide to evaluate all our habits and do away with the unproductive ones and strengthen the productive (or good) ones.

Saying this is humongously easier than doing it, and don’t we all know that?

But writing stuff down on this public blog is making things a little easier. It provides a bit of a leverage when I sit down and think about what habits I should do away with and what new habits should now become a part of my life.

e.g. I have a serious problem with focus. Maybe it’s ADD (attention deficit disorder), I don’t know…never have got that clinically checked, but it’s been the main stumbling boulder (.. or maybe mountain would be better) in the pursuit of my goals.

I need to develop the habit of prioritizing things, then focusing on one till it’s complete and then moving on to another. The 15 day challenge came about because I knew it was high time I completed a book and 15 days is probably the maximum I can focus on one thing before launching into another project and also because 15 days is probably the minimum time I’ll need to write a decent book.

Also, making a public declaration about this makes sure I don’t chicken out after about 3 days into the challenge. With friends watching, I sure don’t want to get out of the challenge by giving lame excuses.
If I successfully complete the 15 day challenge (I know I will) , I know I would have laid the foundations of one of most important habits anyone could have (and struck a mortal blow to my habit of procrastination).

Just changing this one habit will have a massive impact on life. Imagine what would happen, if I rooted out all (or most) bad habits and planted new, better ones?

Onward, brave soldier!

I’ve gone ahead and done what I – on hindsight – shouldn’t have done.

I’ve opened myself up to public scrutiny – something I’ve always, always hated – and possible public humiliation.

I’ve decided to embark upon a public attempt to complete a full-fledged work of fiction. I’ve also created a separate blog to chronicle my attempt in the minutest detail possible. (That blog is at http://15daybook.wordpress.com )

I’ve sat on my ideas for a long time now and I believe it’s time for me to take massive action to move towards my goals. This attempt, this 15-day book writing challenge, is something I have to complete or lose face in front of all my friends and visitors to this blog.

I’m right now thinking of something humiliating or downright ludicrous I’d have to do if I fail to achieve my target. And record it on video and put it up on YouTube. (Something like what Dan Raine had to do when he missed his target by inches. See http://www.thirtydaychallenge.com/thong-a-thon.php – Of course, I’m definitely not wearing a pink thong. I’ll think of something else)

I’ll expect all my friends – and all curious folk who just might tiptoe in here – to support me like crazy. Make sure I don’t slip in achieving my daily targets, make sure I’m following my system, keep asking me how much I’ve completed and egg me on as I take this challenge head on.

If everything goes right, I’ll not only have a completed book in my hands in 15 days but also, hopefully, would have perfected the system I’ve devised for writing this book. And hopefully, some of you would also find the courage within yourselves to finally go all-out for something you’ve been aiming for a long time.

Was just thinking about friends and what friendship really means and how friendship is really exhibited and who is a true friend and how friendships can withstand the test of time… you get the gist.

I’ve just moved back to Noida (that’s ‘almost Delhi’) after moving away from Delhi in 1999. Eight long years later I’m back in my hometown. It’s been nearly a month now and I’m still awaiting a homecoming party (hint, hint )

I had loads of friends and acquaintances I called friends when I left Delhi. I lost touch with almost all of them during the eight years I was gone. Most of the blame for that lies with me as I slowly stopped emailing / calling people and as time went by it all stopped completely.

I could probably do a thorough analysis of what went wrong and where but that’s for another day. Today, I just want to ponder over the issue of keeping friendships alive and kicking.

These are some of the things I’ve decided to do now to keep friendships from dying a slow and unnatural death:

1. Call/mail/sms/email every single person whom I consider a friend every single week. Meeting everyone every week would not be practical but the least I could do is call or email. (Mail’s better than email but the Indian postal service doesn’t inspire confidence at all). SMS is the least preferred means of communication for me but for a number of super busy folk, SMS is the best way. [BTW, to all my friends who would like to bombard me with umpteen email forwards to show their love, please DON'T. Only forwarding emails - especially those spammy chain ones - is NOT a sign of love. It just shows you don't care enough to even write a short, personal note.]
2. Surprise my friends every now and then. I’m not going to elaborate this point – it might just prepare them for these surprises.
3. Write a very detailed bio of all my friends that doesn’t just include the usual things but also stuff like all their big dreams, their passions, their likes/dislikes, things that make them happy, things that make them sad, things that they are currently struggling with. Then think up all the ways I can help them achieve their dreams as well as help them in living more fulfilled lives.
4. Don’t feel let down or angry when friends forget to reply to my emails or forget to wish me on days/occasions that matter to me. Of course, those who NEVER reply to my emails or return my calls might need to be relegated to the category “acquaintances”…and then to “almost strangers”.
   
5. Ask for help/advice/support whenever I need it and not be shy about asking it. That’s what friends are for. But if they are unable to help, don’t hold it against them. Give them another chance. And then – another.
6. Every week meet up with at least one friend in person. The human touch is very important. Emails / phone calls can never take the place of meeting a friend face to face.
7. Just love them. Love them for who they are and never try to get them to become like me. Friends are not meant to be clones. They are meant to be family.

In continuation…

4. Starting – and running – an NGO. There are a number of causes close to my heart and I want to start making a real difference in the world around me instead of just cribbing about what the government has – and is – failing to do.

5. Building a mega-successful business from scratch. My current business is reasonably successful and puts the bread on the table but the earnings are just chicken feed compared to what I’m aiming at.

These are the main goals. Beyond these are many more but these will suffice for now.

There are always too many things to do. And I always end up doing less. This has been the bane of my life so far, this is what has kept me from realizing my full potential.

I know that I need to prioritize – even if a dozen things shout and push and jostle to be first in line. My confusion stems from the fact that I regularly judge dozens of things to be equally important. Which, of course, they are not. And this lack of concentration results in most of the important stuff untouched or unfinished.

These are the things that I need to prioritize – and I know I must be ruthless.

1. The three books I’m working on. Two fiction, one non-fiction. Have to complete them one-two-three and not flit between them.

2. My songs. Need to take them one at a time. Complete, record, release and then move to the next. This seems to be going better. I have asked my friend Anurag Smith to help me with this and with regular jamming sessions I am bound to get some serious work done here.

3. My film. Too many scripts started and left incomplete. Great ideas but need a team. So I have to start building one.

4. Too sleepy… (Yaaaawwwwn) will continue in my next post.

Till then…. zzzzzzzzzz